Merry Christams

Merry Christmas everyone

I will be back as soon as I can to post pictures!!!!!!!!

Christmas is expensive

christmas is expensive. I spent $350 dollars on christmas gifts alone. When it comes to christmas I go a little crazy. I just love shopping for people:) I am so excitied for christmas I cannot wait to celebrate with my children. I am a little sad that I do not have my kids christmas eve. So I won't get to expierence the joy of watching my kids wake up and see the tree all lite up and the gifts santa brought. That does truely break my heart. I am trying to not let it get me down there's nothing I can do about the current situation. So anyways I hope everyone has a happy holiday and has no trouble finding last minute christmas gifts.

Ice Storm

Thursday we had a wicked bad ice storm. Lost power for like a day and a half or so. So I had to miss my vistation with my kids but I had to think about their safety. Which also means I had to cancel Lexy's birthday party:( With christmas coming up I'll be having it in January. So back to the ice storm. Transformers blew everywhere I was actually awake when it happened in the middle of the night. looked like green lighting. Then with the weight of the ice trees were just falling down and shattering like glass. Schools are closed and so many people still don't have power. Thank god no one I knew got hurt because of the storm.

Alexis Charley

My baby girl turns 1 tomorrow. Her father has her for it so it breaks my heart that I am missing her very first bday. Next weekend I'll celebrate making it through that first year with my baby girl. anyways I thought I would post a birth story in honor of her day (like i did with jackman).

December 6th I headed to the hosptial at 6 for my schduled c-section. I wasn't nervous I had that been there done that kind of addtuide. I got prep. for surgery. My parents cam ein said hello and then waitined in the waiting room. I walked into the or. Last time I was wheeled in. The spinal sucked. I could feel every prick and it hurt. I also think it took longer than usual to put in for some reason. They gave me a oxygen mask which I hated I swear I felt like that thing was suffocationg me not giving me air lol. The whole surgery I was so anxious and tired I couldn't wait for lexy to be here and to get some shut eye. At 8:31 am My little princess came into the world crying up a storm. She weighed 8.11 and was 21 1/2 inches long. She was perfect all 10 fingers and toes and a head full of dark hair. Happy early bday my princess mommy loves you<3

Been Awhile

I don't really have to much going on. I had the kids this weekend. Like always it was tons of fun and I hated giving them back because I just love them so much. So far I have had 2 vistations without a problem from their father (will see how long it lasts). I am nice for the most part but it's hard to be when I think about all the crap he put me threw a month ago. I miss not being with my babies everyday and that makes me sad but I am completely happy that I am not in that realtionship or situation any more. Oh yeah I got a part time job which I am happy about because it's a big step in the right direction to help me get back on my feet. Starting over is so hard but I think it will be so worth it in the end.

Something to celebrate

I got on the scale and in a month I have loss 23 pounds. funny thing is I wasn't even really trying. So I am very happy about that:)

Pictures from the visit

So happy

Thought I would update while the kids nap and I have a moment to myself. Last night I got the kids for my weekend and it was just amazing. It's crazy how in 3 weeks they can grow up so much. Jackman talking up a storm and Lexyboo pulling up and scooting on fruntuire. Of course it's a bittersweet moment it also makes me sad because it seems in such a short period of time I have missed so much. When I picked them up I of course cried more than I anticipated. I thought I could hold in and not show that what he did hurt me but I couldn't. My kids are my entire world they are all that matter to me. Once I get a chance to post pictures I will.

Court

Here is what happen. b/c of Jack's therapy he still has the kids. Now I have set vistation so I guess we will see how it goes. I miss my kids so much it hurts. In all honesty I haven't slept to well since the incident I just cannot wait until I can see them. I just wish I had the power to make there father feel the way I do on the 29th. See how he feels when he's on the floor screaming for help b/c it feels like his throat is getting crushed. Or to be left in an apartment alone with no transportation, no money crying and afraid. Afraid b/c He hurt me and the fact that he took our kids and I didnt know where they went. I wish he could look out that window and see my family laugh and have a grand old party b/c I hurt him physically and emotionally. I wish he could cry himself to sleep b/c I wouldnt let him see the kids he cared for since birth. But I don't have that power and he honestly does not care what I have been through. I trusted him with my safety and my heart and it was betrayed. All I keep thinking about now is my poor kids. They probaley think I abandoned them when it is just the opposite of that. My kids are being used as a weapon to control me and that's not right they don't deserve that. Anyways January 20th is the next court date and I will be counting the hours until then.

Tomorrow=court

I have my first family court apperance tomorrow. I am anxious and nervous. I just pray to god that things go in my favor. I have been through hell these past 3 weeks. I miss my kids so much I have been away from them a long time and it breaks my heart. I still have questions that I know will never have answers. Like how could you hurt me physically and emotionally? How can you say you loved me yet do something so evil as to seperate me and our kids? I guess I already know that answer. It was never about love but control, everything I thought you were and I thought we meant to each other was just an act. Keeping my kids from me is the last bit of control you have and when I am reunited with them and that control is lost I will be free to move on and heal. I also would like to just thank everyone all my friends and family for being there for me. It's great to know that no matter what there are people behind me supporting me in my time of need. So keep me and my children in your prayers tomorrow. Love ya all.

Still Going

Courts on Tuesday. I cannot wait hopefully I will be seening my babies this week.

Still here and breathing

Just letting everyone know I am still here. I just don't have much to talk about. 2 weeks I have not seen my babies. As always I miss them and love them with all my heart and cannot wait until we are reunited<3>

No-Show/Hurting

As you can see by the title their father did not show up with them. I am so upset about this I am sad because I have not seen my kids in a week and 2 days. I am also angry because how can their father be so cruel. He's treating me like I have no rights to my children.......Like I am not their mother. It hurts me so much to be a part from them. I can only pray that god helps me through this and that I am reunited with my children soon. I love you Jackman and lexyboo <3

Cannot Wait

Friday I am suppose to get my kids until Sunday. I am very excitied I have not see them in a week and it has been hell. So everyone keep your fingers crossed that their father actually shows up with them. I miss them so much.......love you kids<3

I miss Them

All I can still say is I miss my kids. I just keep praying for them. I pray that their ok. Everynight I toss and turn thinking about them. I wonder if they miss me as much as I miss them. They are so young I sometimes wonder if by the time this gets to court if they will even remeber me. I am hoping Jack is getting their care he needs and hoping that their father is not neglecting it. Tomorrow is my 23rd Birthday and It's just not worth celebrating without my kids by my side. I love you Jack and Alexis always<3

Halloween

All I can say is happy halloween to my babies (lexy's 1 st one). I miss you guys so much and love you with all my heart<3>

No Sleep Here

I just cannot sleep it's 12:05 am. I am so tired yet I am so restless. I just don't know how I am going to get through not having my kids right now. I am thinking about them sleeping looking like the precious angels they are. I miss Jack calling out mama bear or kissing me saying i wuv you mama bear. I miss my Lexy screeching away. I have been praying a lot tonight and just hoping god answers.

Worstt Day Ever

Ed and I had an argument. A petty damn argument. My sister called the police b/c it got out of hand. Now here I am. Alone. The fight got physical the man that I love so much put his hands on me and yes I hit him in my own defense. His mother took the kids when we were fighting and when the cops came they said he has physical custody so I couldn't have them. Now my heart is broken. My children are my life my whole world and now he has taken them away to punish me. If he doesn't give them back tonight I guess he next step is to file for custody through courts his could take forever it could be forever before I see Jack and Alexis. I jus want to hug them and tell the I love them so much.

Pumpkins rot quick and what went on this weekend

Yeah I had to throw my big pumpkins in the trash. Note to self pumpkins rot real fast when indoors......especially when Ed has the heat up. So this weekend the town had their halloween parade and judging after. My mnchkins didn't win anything so next year I am going to think of soemthing creative. (wish I had a camera for that). That is what went on sunday....we also had dinner at my moms. saturday night we went to a old mansion ghost tour where people dress up like those who used to live in the house and tell their story. It was really cool. Friday night we did pumpkmin carving with Ed's family at his mothers. So we actually had a busy,busy weekend. For some werid reason I cannot turn my font white I guess everything has it's glitches.

Pumpkins

Fragile x Syndrome

I looked up fragile x syndrome and honestly it worries me. I worry that he got it from me. I worry that my daughter could have it (she's developing normally now) or she could be a carrier. I hate being in the gray not knowing if he does or doesn't have it. anyways if you want more info here's a website on it http://www.fraxa.org/

Peditrcian Update

Jack had his appointment and I don't know what to think. He has to have genetic testing to see if he has something called Fragile x syndrome. Plus in 6 months I have to bring him back to be tested for autism. I am afraid and Sad right now. I don't want him to be austic ( I and his Ot dont think he is) I am afraid that if he is he won't have a normal life. Which I know is a crazy thought. He is social, he talks,plays and interacts with other kids. I know no matter what the outcome is he will be normal. I just wish everything wasn't so up and down with him right now. He is progressing so much in therapy to where I honestly belived he was going to be caught up. Now with what the doctor said I feel like we've taken a step back . All I can do I guess us pray and hope god will se us through.

Developmental Pedrician

I am so thrilled. I just got the call and they had a cancelation. So tomorrow at 1 we have an appointment. his orignal appointment was for March which seems like forever away. hopefully we will hear good news:) I will be back tomorrow with an update:)

Diaper Change!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I smelt something a little funky. I was right. Jack walked over holding his diaper handed it to me and said diaper change momma bear. Than walked away. of course I ran after him with some wipes b/c he made a poopy.......ahhhh I think it's time for tiptoy rigtain.....aka potty training.

Weekend Plans

Saturday night Ed and I are going to a mansion history tour. I went last year and it was great. People dress up as the people that lived there and they tell the history of "themselves". After that they are having a soup dinner.

Sunday I think is the town's halloween parade. I am thinking about wether or not to dress the kids up and have them walk in it or not. Maybe we will just watch it I don't know.

Take your belt and shove it

Dear Vacuum manufactures,

With all the advancements we have made in technology you think you could make vacuum's better. Of course not you have to make them have these dumb rubber belts. Well my belt broke and now I am left HUNTING and wasting precious gas and energy trying to find a new belt. Oh Yes I know I could log on to your site and order the so called belt. You would like that wouldn't you? For me to pay more money for one plus wait 7 business days for the dang thing. Is that why the stores seem to always be out of stock??????????? Well Big Business I am on to your scam and I am not going to fall for your tricks..................................................So you know what you can take your belt and SHOVE IT!

Sicerely,
One P-d off SAHM

5 Things about me

1. I was born a month early

2.my favorite food is a tie between taco salad/chicken lasagna

3. I have been with Ed 3 years (and had 2 kids in that span lol)

4. When a shoe hasn't been around I have killed small spiders w/my hand

5. I am afraid to drive a car ( I am 22 and I do not have even a permit)

National Day for infant and pregnancy loss

Today is the day to remeber all those babies who have been sent to heaven. I for one am very lucky I have never had to expiernce this. So keep those families who have loss a baby in your prayers today.

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What's been happening

Sunday we went apple picking (sorry no pics :( Jack had tons of fun of course he was more interested in the apples on the ground then the ones in the tree. Saturday was a lazy day we did nothing and the biggest highlights were going store to store looking for Roseanne season 7 to complete the series which no had. so we pre-ordered it. Then off to Target to pick up a shelf.

Therapy Update

OT is great as usual. Jack's motorskills are coming along really good. He is doing zippers and taking his clothes off. He is also getting better at using utensils.

As you know Jack has a new ST and she's great. Jack has really flourished in speech since starting with her a month ago. He is saying 2 word phrases and every once in awhile three word phrases. He is learning to take simiple directions.

This is not really a therapy thing but Jack now is starting to realize when he poops and says I pooped (waiting for him to pick up on the pee pee thing). Which means potty training is not far behind.

So Darn Sick

I have been feeling coldish the last few days but today I feel like a semi-truck has hit me. My nose one minute all stuffed up the next runny. My head kills (which means head cold). Ed's ma took Jackman for a but so I was able to get an hour nap while lexy napped as well. I thought I had the chills but I don't I was just cold lol turned the heat on and put a sweatshirt on and I am much better:) Ed gets home in an hour and a half and I cannot wait because I feel like CRAP!

Kids Christmas card outfits choosen

Grateful for my family

I came across a blog tonight. about a family I do not know and the lose of their beatiful little girl Audrey Caroline. I was born catholic but I am not very religious. I do belive in god but don't really feel connected to him really. This family's story brought tears to my eyes. reading this story truly touched my heart and made me feel closer to god. made me stop worring about the obstacles and negative things in my life. Made me grateful for the good things and for the beautiful family I have. check out this amazing story and keep this family in your prayers.
http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

My Favorite Time

Finally October so now it's my favorite time of the year. The next 3 month strech (besides May b/c thats my ja ckman's bday). I love Halloween not to mention I am a scary movie buff. Usually around the 13th all the scary movies are on TV. Also Halloween is on a Friday this year which means staying up all night watching scary movies and eating candy (which is not on the diet).
Then comes Thanksgiving the holiday of piggery. My mouth waters just thinking about it. Then Lexy's Big Day.....her first birthday. Then my most favorite time Christmas. The whole month of December puts me in a great mood. I am anticpating xmas morning how excitied the kids will get:) Just gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

I Wish

I really,really wish my life was more interesting but lately nilch has been going on in it. Saturday I went to my nieces birthday party. Where we participated in normal bday activities like cake,presents and a pinata. This weekend we are going apple picking with my mom.

Happy Early Bday Bianca

Tomorrow will be 5 years ago that my niece was born. My sister was due at the end of september and ended up going over due. After hours and hours of labor she ended up with a csection. I keep thinking to myself over and over again how did that 5 years pass so quickly.

What;s even freakier is to think that when Jack was born my niece was 2 1/2 years old.

Happy Birthday Bonk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Halloween Costumes are set

We wanted Jack to be a lion. He loves to roar like a lion. In stores I could not find a lion costume in his size and I am sorry online world but I am not paying 50 bucks for a costume. for 50 bucks that costume better be lined with gold. I was helping my mom clean out her storage and found a tiger costume that was my nieces. So I figure close enough and that is what my Jackman will be.

Alexis I have been saying for awhile I want her to be a pumpkin and that is the costume I bought:)

This halloween feels like it will be a first for both my kids. true it is Jack's 3rd halloween but with his delays this will be the first halloween my big man will be walking. For Alexis it is her first halloween....I cannot wait.

Sick Saturday

Jack was so sick saturday night. He was puking and crying and so exhaushed. I was actually really worried about him. This is the first time Jack has been throw up sick. So anyways he was sick puking for about 1 1/2 hours. Then he finally we went to bed and by morning he was 100 percent better:)

What's been going on

Last weekend was semi busy. Saturday we went out to the mall so Ed could buy himself a game and we could get his cousin Matt a present. From their we went to matt's party. We spent about 1/2 hours than went home and slept. Sunday we went to my moms and eat egg plant lasuanga (yum,yum).

So far this week Therapy has been going good. What sucks is Ed's job has no work until Thursday which means suckish pay check next week (Thank god this check has overtime in it).

This weekend will be another semi busy one. Thursday ( I know not the weekend) we have to go out and get 2 birthday presents plus we have been xmas shopping earlier. Then Saturday we have a Bday party to go to followed by my moms house. Sunday should be a realxing kind of day but I think I want to do the whole painting thing in our bedroom.

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Meeting-Update

WE had Jack's 12 month evaluation meeting. He scored a 7 so he still qualifies for OT services. He has made great improvement since the beginning when he was considered "untestable". He has also meet all his goals he started with in OT. He can complete puzzles,He can run and climb,he can build with blocks. I am so proud of all my little boy has accomplished:)

My Fall Line up

Monday-nothing

Tuesday-House (yes),Fringe(havent watched yet but I heard it was good.),Gh night shift

Wensday-Ghost hunters

Thursday-

Friday-nada

Saturday-nada

Sunday-Army wives (watched by chance and liked it)

Of course I also watch General Hospital everyday but that doesnt count its on all year round.

-Tam

Movie-Baby Mama

I waited and waited for this movie to come out. I thought this was going to be nothing but hilarious. Then Bang they actually snuck in some seriousness. That said I did really like the movie. This movie met my expectations unlike knocked up which was a good movie but was not as funny as the previews made it out to be. So I do recommend this movie if you want a good laugh about the joys of pregnancy and parenthood.

5 products that I love

1.Glade wisp flameless candle. I have been admiring my mother's for awhile but luckly I came across a 5 dollar off cupon! (the candle is 7.99.......so lucky me:) I love the thing the scent is not to strong but enough that you can smell it my entire livingroom plus I love the illusion that it is a candle very safe around kids.

2.Battenkill Valley Milk. It's a little pricier that the Supermarket brand milk but it is worth it. I never ever thought milk could taste different but it does! Fat free taste like whole only without all the fat so that's a plus. The real reason I also like to buy it is that it's local so I am helping support a local dairy farm.......whoo whoo.

3. This is kind of a cheat but since their both cleaners I am going to add them together. Clorox Anywhere spray and Lysol antibacterial kitchen spray. I have been using anywhere spray for awhile and love it......there's no harsh smell and it's safe to use near children,pets and around food. Lysol kitchen spray Has a light smell and kills all those yucky germs from cooking (meat). my real reason for loving these are they both kill STAPH and STREP bacterial and after my whole infection drama........Let's just say those bacterial will not be sneaking under my radar again.

4. Melissa and Doug puzzles. Jack's therapist are always using these great wooden puzzles. some are chunky some have sound and some even have maganets. So I finally went out a few weeks ago and bought Jack a Chunky construction puzzle and he loves it plays with it everyday. Melissa and doug have a website if anyone wants to check them out. Melissaanddoug.com

5.Regular glade candles (the ones in the frosted glass). In my opinon you get the scent of a yankee candle but at an affordable price.

Pics from Parade

New St

Jack did great with the new therapist. She is really nice and fun. I know she's much more than that but she acts like a babysitter type. Jack of course had his here and there I don't want to do it whiny behavior but overall he did well. They looked at a book,played with mr.poateo head and played with pegs. Tomorrow she comes bright and early at 8 am.

We will never forget.........9/11

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First colds of the season

yupp me and Jack. Jack started having a runny nose last night and you could just tell he wasn't himself. He didn't go to bed until 11 last night. Now I wake up his morning and have the sniffles. So I am sure soon enough Ed and Lexy will be joining the party as well.

How am I going to get through cold season in this house? cold medicine is suppose to actually not help a cold. I guess I'll have to stick to what I know. Chicken soup,vapor bath and a humidifier/vaporizer and course lots of fluids. I hate colds!

-Tam

Doctor Update

Jack-Is 31 pounds and I am not sure how tall b/c I was not paying attention. The Doctor did not see any fluid but Jack was not holding completely still. So he prescribed him amoxcillin just in case there is. Then he asked all the details of Jack's therapy and how Jack was progressing.

Alexis- Is 18 lbs. 9 oz. and 28 inches long. She's growing completely normal and she got one shot today. Her head is off the chart but has always been and since it's growing on a normal curve then there's no concern.

Me- doctor looked at my cut and said it's doing good. almost healed:)

5 things about me

1. I like to watch spongebob

2. I love to dress my kids in character shirts......must be the walmart in me lol

3. I do not drive at all......I am to afraid.

4. I am actually happy I had c-sections I don't think I could of handled labor

5. I hate reading out loud I use to break out in a heat rash on my chest when I had to in school.

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I am in the paper

Heres the part of the article that is me



Tamara K, who was raised in Lansingburgh and now lives in Greenwich, said that she had been watching the parade since she was a little girl and now comes back to the city each year to watch it in front of where she used to live."The parade is usually pretty similar but it is always big no matter what," said Keenan. "My favorite part of the day would have to be watching the marching bands go by because there are just so many schools and organizations participating."

Parade

The parade was so much fun. Jack loved it:) he smiled and pointed at almost everything. I also was interviewed by the local newspaper so I will have to see if I am in it tomorrow. Jack also got very dirty at the parade (which meant multiple clothes changes) he also skinned his knee:( I cannot believe he didn't cry. After we went over to the little carnival they have it was pretty boring so then we headed to the playground. I also ran into a friend from high school. So I sat and talked to her for like an hour until Jack got cranky and had enough of today's excitement. I will post pictures as soon as I can.

Redneck Trash? haha

100th post/movie-hard candy

wow my 100 th post already. I guess it comes quickly when you not only write everyday but sometimes more than once lol. Yay for the 100th post :)

anyways now on to the latest movie I have watched.

Hard Candy- I borrowed this from my sister who thought it was great. The movie has Ellen Page in it (Juno). She plays a 14 girl who comes across a pedophile who is also a murder. This movie was pretty good. I don't think I would label this as scary or a suspense because to me it was funny. If you like the whole idea of revenge and humor this movie may be for you.

KIndergarten!!!!!!!!!!

My niece started kindergarten on Wednesday. I cannot believe it. Has it really been that many years since she was born. I feel like it was just yesterday she was a year old and knocking on my bedroom door wanting to come in:) She turns 5 in a month. I wish I could of been their to see her on her first day but I live a half hour away (boo). I cannot wait for Sunday so I can see the pictures of her first day.

New St starts next week

It's all set. new ST starts next week. One thing I learned is that once Jack turns 3 and he transitions into the school district he can keep the therapists he has. That makes me very happy b/c I love his OT she's great at what she does. I think I may put him in a preschool for half day at 3. But it's not for delayed kids and it's 15 minutes away.

Talked to my OT

Jack's ot went great like always. once a week she takes him outside for therapy and he loves it. he smiles,laughs and talks a lot. Well I talked to her about Jack's ST. Jack's St has mentioned 3 or 4 times about transitioning out of EI early and going through the school district and getting my son into a special preschool. Also she has brought up twice about her schedule and having to do appointments after school hours because she works within a school district. which in my opinion is a subtle way of saying she doesn't want to do the whole EI thing anymore. So after talking to the OT about it and our case worker we have decided to go with a new ST.

Speech

So after cancelling Jack's appointments last week due to infections (blah). Today was the first day of ST in a week. it went great Jackman was in a awesome mood and saying tons of stuff. I think the cutest thing was when he shut off her computer and than he said oh man! lol lol
His ST keeps mentioning transitioning him into the school district so he can get into a preschool program for his delays. I don't know how I feel about it. Jack is only2 and these schools are pretty far away from my house. He would have to be bused and then away from me for the day. what if their is an accident? I don't drive how would I get to him. not to mention he's not that great in social situations and these people would be strangers. like I always do tomorrow I will get his OT's opinion on the whole deal.

hearing and toy box update

Jack's hearing looks good so far. He does have some fluid in both ears. So now we have to follow up with his dr. then in 8 weeks they want to see him again to finish his hearing evaluation.

I spent the rest of the afternoon painting my childhood toybox. which is actually my moms. I painted it green and white it looks so nice. maybe this weekend I'll find some cute sticker appliques to stick on it.

What's happening this week

Jack has his hearing evaluation tomorrow. which EI wants done. I don't think theres anything wrong with his hearing, so I am not worried. Only bad thing is it looks like I may have to cancel another ST session.

Then this weekend might be the weekend we go camping. I know I have brought it up for many weekends and it has not happen lol but maybe this will be the weekend:) Of course will cut the camping a little short because sunday is the uncle sam parade down by my moms house.

5 products that I love

1.Clorox ready mop. If your like me you hate the whole bucket and mop junk. How is it sanitary to mop a floor with dirty water? then it's a pain in a butt to fill and dump a zillion times. The ready mop has the throw away pads and the cleaning solution just clips to the back. so much easier.

2.Debbie Meyer green bags. Just bought some and I love them. They really do keep veggies and fruits fresh longer.

3. washable crayola crayons. my son loves to color. He usually is good about not drawing on anything but paper. accidents do happen and all I need is water on a rag to remove crayon.

4.Bissell sweep up. I love this thing:) my rug seems to always have lint or something on it but I don't have the time to vacuum 8 times a day lol. I use this in between vacuums and it works great. it's also very easy to dump out whatever it picks up.

5. oxyclean. the commercials are annoying but it really is a great product. I mostly use it in my laundry. It also works great in coffee pots,tubs and toilets:)

Update on infections

I can put in on without the screams of pain. My arm is better!!!!!!! It's almost completely healed and I only have one more day of antibiotics yayayy!!!!!!!!!!! Jack's yeast infection is finally going away. Putting Jack's cream on him is the worse thing ever. So much crying and screaming but finally

5 things about me

1. I love the show roseanne I have every season except 4 ( or maybe it was 6).

2. I am 22 and I get many gray hairs (eeekk)

3. I watch nick jr when the kids aren't even around lol

4. my favorite season is fall

5. my favorite author is Stephen King

Doctors Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack's yeast infection wasn't getting better and spread to his leg. Sooooo off to the doctors we went. Diagnose? still yeast infection. we were prescribed more cream (we were running out) plus a cream with an steroid to use for 3 days. also doctors order to let my son run around with no diaper. I guess I will be following him with a mop for awhile lol. Plus my moms bringing me her old kitchen table this weekend. I am excited:) then I am moving my table to the dinning area which will be a great place for Jack to sit and do puzzles and have therapy sessions.

not good at all

Went to the doctor today. my lab on my infection was back in. turns out I have MRSA (yuck). Basically it's like a staph infection only the bacteria is resistant. Most antibiotics won't fight the infection luckily I am on one that is fighting it. I also found out MRSA is contagious so I am disinfecting like crazy. as long as i keep the wound covered and wash my hands after touching it to change my dressing I won't spread the MRSA. AS LONG AS I LIVE I WILL NEVER "PICK" AT A SMALL CUT OR PIMPLE AGAIN! people to avoid this infection always wash even the smallest cuts with soap and water daily until it heals. another tip hand sanitizer is your friend:)

The Verdict

When Ed got home we went to on-call. yupp just like I thought it's a yeast infection. I am not to happy with the on-call people. as you know my son is globally delayed. He has melt down in most social situations. Well I was told in a subtle way to take him outside. that pisses me off he was the one that had to be seen. so I waited for about a half hour outside. I will not be going there again. anyways my son was perscribed some cream and after one night of medication he's looking a lot better. now today I have to go to the doctor and have my scrape looked at to make sure the infection is getting better. I can tell you the answer now It doesnt'hurt anymore. the swelling and redness is just about gone. So yes it's better the antibotics are doing great. of course i will update when i get home.

I guess after talking to ed I am not royal pissed anymore. but the whole situation yesterday still aggervates me.

A real JERK

I usually don't talk of Ed to much. If I do it's all usually good stuff. Well right now I need to vent so badly. I am going to give you all a peek into Ed's darkside. As I mentioned in another blog entry about my own infection Ed yelled at me the whole way to the Er. That I am being a baby and theres nothing wrong. ok buddy I just have a skin infection that can make you very ill if it enters the bloodstream. Jack will not be going to the doctors today for his private issues. I called Ed at his job first time since he's worked there. so obviously I am concerned about my son. He tells me he's not leaving work b/c he will get fired. (If Ed didnt pretend sick constantly this would not even be a concern) he then tells me it's nothing with my son but he will take my bitch ass to urgent care at 5. god he's a jerk. wow thanks for giving a damn about your son you selfish little baby.

Will it never end?

looks like Jack may have a yeast infection on his privates. I guessing it is from his antibotics he had been on. So now I am waiting for the doctors office to open. when will this end? In the past few weeks its been one thing after another. I HATE INFECTIONS! we have had infected bug bites,scrapes and now a possible yeast infection.

Trip to the ER

Called my doctor about my infected arm and he told me I had to go to the er. I guess I may have needed antibiotics through iv. I didn't need the iv they prescribed me double antibiotics though. plus I need to go see my doctor today. depending when that is we may have to reschedule Jack's hearing evaluation. So right now my arm is wrapped and killing me one minute it throbs and then burns. I guess lesson is always wash and bandage even the smallest of cuts.

Still Sore...plus the fair

My arm is still sore and tender. The swelling has gone done some and the cut is looking better. Hopefully by Wednesday the tenderness will be gone.

Last night we took the kids to the fair. Lexy slept most of the time. Jack loved the animals. He kept saying the animals names and what they say. We also put him on some rides. Daddy rode the train with Jackman once and so did I. He had so much fun smiling and waving to Ed's aunt. Then Jackman and I went on a tugboat swaying type of ride. Which I admit at first scared me ( I have no spine when it comes to rides). Jack was a little scared but for the most part he liked it. Then Daddy got on some daring rides. I wish I had brought my camera to catch some of these moments.

What's been happening

This weekend not to much is going on just the usual. dinner at my moms on Saturday. Maybe will go to the fair I don't know. Not a huge loss if we don't Jack has been their twice with his aunt this week. Monday Jack has a hearing evaluation which I hope goes OK. I really don't think their is anything wrong with his hearing but better safe than sorry. His daddy is moderately deaf in one ear. Of course he thinks it's work related.....I am not so sure. Ed has always not been able to hear what I am saying sometimes since I first met him. That was before the job he had that he thinks caused it.

Falls

Last night we were at a birthday party. Jack is laughing and running. I keep calling him and walking after him. Of course my cousin house is on a hill. Jack gets closer to the drop. I start screaming and running after him (yes I am over dramatic I do scream in situations like this....i do not care). yup he falls into a bush. I climb down after him. of course my little danger boy is laughing. as I get him out I almost slip for a split second I was thinking I may not get out without asstiance.

my turn, my turn...........

Yes it's my turn and that is not a good thing. I was picking at a little bite on my elbow. Well I broke the skin. Now it's all red and sore. Of course there's no pus or anything like that. So I am just using peroxide and antibiotic ointment aka neosprin. It hurts when I extend my arm which is expected it's on the tip of my elbow. I am guessing it's infected because it is also hot. It does look a little better compared to yesterday.

One of those days

My son is driving me crazy today. I know he's in the stage of terrible twos but must he test the boundaries so much today. He has been taking his diaper off,throwing toys,screaming and crying when he doesn't get his own way and crumpling his pbj all over my floor. Just when I didn't think I was going to make it without me crying. It was nap time thank goodness for naps. Now his devil horns have disappeared and he's sleeping like an angel lol. Just 16 more years until he's out of his terrible two's (hehe):)

pics of lexy

Pictures of jackman

you can't scam me

yes people someone tried to scam me. I was chosen to be a secret shopper and was mailed a cashier's check for almost 3ooo bucks. All I have to do is wire money to someone and then keep 200. BEWARE OF THESE SCAMS DO NOT FALL VICTIM. here's some tips on how to tell it is a scam.

1. no business/company will EVER send you a check asking you to wire a certain amount of money. ( these checks will bounce and you will be the on owing thousands of dollars)
2. Just because the business name is legit does not mean it's not a scam. (these people will steal company names and use them).
3. my envelope came with no return address and was from Canada. (If you don't know anyone from Canada and their is no return address......it is a scam.
4. Addresses did not match up my envelope was from Canada yet the address on the letter said Minneapolis,MN. If these don't match up then more than likely your being scammed.

Weekend things

I was searching online and I really think Jack's boo-boo is a infected spider bite. It looked very similar to some of the pictures I was seeing. the swelling is down and it looks a lot better.

Today I stopped at my cousin's house to drop off birthday gifts for her kids. She ended up giving us a toy work bench type of thing that is so cute. Then we headed to my moms for dinner.

My sister was also attacked by a dog on Friday. She has puncture wounds. The dog lunged at her and dragged her off a family members porch. After a trip to the emergency room she is okay. FYI the dog was a lab ( to think I thought they were a family type of dog.......which goes to show all dogs no matter their breed can bite).

Tomorrow will be just a chilaxin kind of day with a little cleaning on the side.

Some of my favorite pics

Alexis in May

Jackman he just looks so cute

I love this sleepy what the heck are you doing pic

Jackman at 8 months old

updates

jack update- yupp It's an infection. The doctor gave up a chewable antibotic. so in 10 days my Jackman should be feeling much better:)

computer update- they didn't sell our model anymore so we had to trade it in for a new computer.

Broken computer:(

I may not be on for a few days. the hinge on my laptop is broken:( (thank goodness for warranties). so we our dropping it off tomorrow night. hoping we can get it fixed fast so I can update you on Jack's boo-boo.

Jack's Boo-Boo

2 days ago Jack has what appeared to be a cut on his head. well today I felt a lump on his head and he whined and pulled away the moment I touched it. I look at it and I see what looks like dry pus on the lump. So I put him in the bath to remove the pus. that cut looks like a puncture wound and their pus inside it. So immediately I yell down to Ed to make a doctors appointment. He first comes up and makes his own "diagnosis" then calls the DR. We have an appointment at 3 tomorrow afternoon so I will update then.

on a good note ST went great today. No tears which made me a happy mama:)

Early intervention update

wow! I am just full of posts today:) After talking to Jack's case worker. We have decided to add on one more day of speech therapy to work on Jack's behavioral issues. Keeping my fingers crossed that this helps him. Also I have an appointment set up for a developmental pediatrician in March to see my Jackman. Also his OT wants me to get his hearing checked to make sure it' ok. He had a cold for awhile and she wants to make sure their is no ear infection or fluid in the ear. I wanted to cry today. Dealing with Jack's delays are really a struggle for me. I want to do everything I can to help him. On the other hand sometimes I want to just say forget it and be done with the whole thing. I know this is what he needs. I don't want him to be extremely behind when he starts school in a couple years. I guess all Jackman and I can do is breath and take it day by day.

5 things about me

1. I am afraid of roller coasters and heights.

2. I have a twin brother.

3. I used to write poetry before my kids.

4. I have never broken a bone (knock on wood).

5. I was the only sibling from my family that graduated high school.

Alexis

With all the craziness that goes on with Jack and therapy. I have realised I do not talk enough about my baby girl lexy. She just turned 8 months old. wow 8 months I can't belive I had this wonderful child 8 months ago:) she has 2 teeth now and is so close to crawling. She is my easy child always smiling and happy. The only thing that upsets this child is when you do not get her food fast enough. She has these big curious eyes and is always looking around and wondering how the world works. Her favorite people are her brother,papa,pop and of course daddy. She's stealing the fellas hearts already. I really believe Lexy will be my wild child.

Melissa and Doug

If your son is anything like mine then he loves cars,puzzles and blocks. Well in his therapy sessions his therapist have some really neat puzzles. from ones with huge pegs and ones with no pegs but are chunky (both are great for small hands). Well the other day I noticed they said Melissa and Doug. So I typed it in my search engine and voila. I found those great puzzle they range in price from 10-20 bucks each. Well I am going to talk my sweetie Ed into ordering 2 10 dollar puzzles this week:) anyways if anyone wants to check the site out here's the link http://www.melissaanddoug.com/

The History of Jack's Delays

My last post got me thinking......yes anyone who reads this knows my son is delayed. But no one on here knows how it started. How we found out and has he always been behind? So I figure I would tell everyone about when this all began.

When Jack was a baby he hit all his milestones on time. Holding his head up,his first laugh and sitting unsupported. When he was around 8 or 9 months old he wasn't crawling. I wasn't worried about it. crawling was not even a "real" milestone ( b/c not all kids crawl). When he started crawling I was so happy and instantly could not wait for the day he would walk. His 1 st birthday came and he was still not walking. then 13 months and not walking than 15 months and still no walking. When he was around 14 or 15 months. I had my sister take him for his check-up because I had an ob appointment and did not want to miss it. That's when I was told the doctor thought something was wrong with his legs and wanted a physical therapist to look at him. I cried so hard that day and I was so angry. How could he say there was something wrong with my perfect son. When the shock wore off I called early intervention (recommended by my DR.) A few weeks later I had Jackman evaluated. He was physically fine. They saw no delays in speech. His motor skills were the only thing delayed.

With help from OT my Jackman walked at 19 months old. He has been in OT for almost a year and now he is running, climbing and doing many other things he could not do. As his 2Nd birthday approached his OT thought that his speech may be delayed. So a ST evaluated him and as it turns out he was. Which brings us to today.

Therapy amd Tears

Surprise,Surprise. Another bad ST session. His ST is now talking about seeing an pediatric specialist and many other things on top that. How am I suppose to deal with that. For many who do not know I am a stay at home mom living in a smallish-town. I do not drive and their are no bus lines where I live. Due to me being home we are living on one income. How am I and Ed suppose to do all this? How is Ed suppose to take time off for this? How are we suppose to lose days of income here and there....and still survive? Most importantly How am I suppose to keep putting my son thorough this? How many times am I going to watch my son scream and cry? How many times am I going to have to rock him after a ST session and cry? I feel horrible for even saying this but Why me? Why him? I wish so badly that he was normal. I honestly do not know how much more of this I can handle.

weigh-In

I lost 1 pound........boo! well I guess I rather be one down than one up:) I have to get my butt in gear and exercise. here's to hoping I lose a lot more weight next time.

Rough therapy

OT went great today. ST was a nightmare. His therapist has a book with a bear drinking a glass of milk. She wanted Jack to say milk. Jack of course said no and refused. So she decided not to move onto anything else and until he said milk. Jack of course still gets upset. Of course I and the therapist did not give in. He started to get even more upset. I actually started becoming scared. Jack was kicking and wailing around,shaking his head back and fourth. I tried to get him to say milk and he just would scream no. Then when I tried to calm him down it was like he was somewhere else.....He wouldn't look at me not once. Finally after therapy was over He gave his therapist a half smile and whispered bye bye. Then all he wanted was for me to hold him like a baby and rock him. He's finally sleeping like an angel. when he has a bad therapy session it breaks my heart and makes me feel guilty like I am being a bad mom.

here I am relieved therapy is over for the week and crossing my fingers that therapy is better next week.

Major Vent!!!!!!!!!!!

I won't name names or anything. I am so pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why give options,why? I just don't get it why say OK you can choose between this and this. Then went you choose what the person does not want you to choose they try and talk you out of it. When you say no I really want/to do this they say OK then just do what they want screw you!!!!!! It doesn't matter if lets just say it's someone I Love's special day.............why? b/c this person is a self-centered,childish asshole and we all know it!!!! If it's not all about them then they want no part.........FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's what I have to say. Anyways sorry about the vent......and I am sure anyone reading this is confused. Yes when I am angry I don't make sense.

weigh in...........

I am so happy. I have lost 8 pounds:) whooo whooo I will be a sexy mama in no time lol my goal is to lose 50 pounds hopefully within like 7 or 8 months.

Whats been going on

This past weekend we honestly did not do much. We went to my mother's for dinner on Sunday.......mmmmmmm sausage and peppers:) minus the bun b/c of mt low carb lifestyle. This week Jack of course has therapy (crossing my fingers that they are great). Then Thursday is Ed's 22nd birthday. I know I am going to bake him a cake but I think I might do a cupcake......cake to practice for Lexy's Birthday. If it comes out bad I will know that I must order her cupcake cake lol.

Cute Thing I made

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Movie-Solstice

This movie is a made for TV movie. I think it was on lifetime. This movie was awesome. This movie is better than most horror movies in theaters. The movie is about a girl that goes on a trip and believes her dead twin sister is trying to communicate with her. I definitely recommend this movie. I liked it so much I think I will re-watch it (courteous of my dvr).

10 things I miss pre-kids

I woke up today and realized how much I miss some habits/things I did before I had kids.

1.sleeping until noon (weekends)
2.going to the movies
3.shopping sprees for clothes
4. my old waist
5.leaving the house without preparation
6. changing diapers not in my vocabulary
7.hanging out with friends in all hours of the night
8. being able to stay awake past 11 at night
9.going out to eat
10. being stretch mark free

Losing all this has been worth it of course:)

Felt Like Christams

Went to my moms yesterday and felt like Christmas. my mom bought me 4 pairs of Capri's,carpet runners for my stares, gave me a brand new iron. She also got the kids a pail thing for washing hair lol. She also got Lexy diapers.

Weekend went by quick Ed worked a few hours Saturday. So that day just flew on by. Sunday we were at my moms. Gee sh what happen to lazy relaxing weekends........I guess they are just a thing in the past.

Movie-Shutter

I am not going to say it was awesome but it was good. Shutter is about photography spirits. Surprise.Surprise takes place in Japan like a lot of scary movies these days. this movies had it's twists. I found it predictable but I watch a lot of scary movies so maybe it's just me. Plus the movie gets a A because it ad no gore. So if you like movies that have to do with killer ghost,Japan,and no gore this movie is for you.

Boo-Boos for everyone

Yesterday I notice Jack had dried blood in his nose. (so instantly I thought must be the heat). He was sitting with his ST working on a puzzle. He starts crying when his st tries to get him to say what the pieces were ( like bus and firetruck). his nose than starts to bleed and I notice its a little bruised on the side. This is a mystery to me he did not cry or bang his nose from what I could remember.

Then later Ed's cousin is holding Lexy and Lexy bumps her head off of the table. Of course she gives off a terrifying wail and has a bruise on her forehead. I felt so bad for Ed's cousin it looked like she was going to cry she felt so bad.

Then I also almost got hurt. Jack opened the door to Ed's moms back deck. It's raining so I run after Jack. The I slipped and almost fell. That would not of been a pretty site:)

The night ends with a fake boo-boo courtesy of that meanie ed. He comes down the staries from giving Jack a bath saying he cut his hand. I was so grossed out I couldn't look. I still do not know what was in his hand (sure wasn't ketchup).

Peed On

Alexis peed on me Tuesday. Of course during Jack's OT. Alexis is a girl not a boy so I have no clue how she missed her diaper and got my lap. Nothing like mopping up baby pee while Jack's therapist is there haha:)

Sad:(

Ed's dog Shaggy ( that lived at his moms) died yesterday morning:( I guess he had been sick not to mention he's old. I was shocked when I heard I just never thought he was that sick:( Ed just happened to be home sick yesterday. Ed was OK pretty much the whole day. Until it really sunk in that shags was gone. Now Ed is talking about if he ever find another cockier spaniel and has the money he wants one. I know it's just him coping. He's already said previous to this that he does not want another dog. The kids are way to young and a dog is a lot of responsibility and we already have are hands full with the kids (which is why we have a low maintenance cat:) )
RIP* Shaggy........you will be forever missed:(

The Beach was Fun

I wish I brought a camera to the beach. It was so much fun. Jack loved the water:) He also kept picking up the sand and saying sand:) He also tried to swim. I put Lexy's feet in but she didn't want anything to do with that, All she wanted was her bottle. We cooked chicken and hot dogs (yum). We didn't stay to long though because the sky was cloudy and we kept getting bursts of rain. I defiantly want to take the kids back there again:)

Weekend Plans

The plans this weekend is Saturday is my dads birthday. So we are getting him an ice cream cake from the local ice cream place near my house. The fun part is driving down a to my moms without it melting:) Then Sunday my sister and her family are suppose to come over and go to the beach. I cannot wait:) It's not often we get together and actually go somewhere. Today will be just a normal day of cleaning and dinner. Which I am making burgers (I love burgers). and yes people I am still on my diet. My diet is more for health than weight. I am still hoping to drop some pounds so I become that sexy mama:)

Double Dangerous Curtains

Jackman has no fears and he loves to climb. No matter if he falls or how many times you tell him no. He seems to get back up on things that could harm him. Lately he has been climbing up the chair and sometimes even attempting to stand on the air conditioner. I have these curtains that tie up (like blinds). I bought them for the fact that little Jackman had destroyed our living room blinds. Well with his climbing I worried about him hanging himself. so I started leaving my curtains untied so he did not get hurt. Well He managed to tangle himself in one of the strings. so when I grabbed him off the chair he pulled the string on his neck. ( just so no one worries it was not choking him). It did how ever leave a mark similar to rope burn on his neck. I have never been so scared in my life. I fixed the curtains so this cannot happen again. 20 minutes after what is jackman doing again? climbing up the chair I swear the boy has no fears. He loves to test his mothers every couple days he's doing something that's making my heart jump right out of my mouth. Well It is now nap time and I have to find a different place for my chair.

So Proud:)

I am so proud of my kids. They are accomplishing so much in developments/milestones.

Jack-when he first started therapy he was so behind. Today he did a puzzle by himself without any help. He didn't walk until 19 months now he's running. He wasn't saying very much and now he has so many words. he makes me so proud.

Alexis-Is sitting up now. she loves to stand (with help). Shes getting her first tooth and trying really hard to get up on the knees so she can crawl. Every milestones make me smile she's getting so big.

Speech Therapy was Awesome

Therapy was great. No crying at all:) He pointed out pictures and must of said atleast 20-25 words today. He signed more and even did the card thing with her. I am so proud of him:)

I am STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today starts my darn diet. My goal is to lose 30 pounds but my ideal goal is to drop 50. I have no goal day or month to lose this "baby" fat:) I am so hungry right now I could eat like a whole cake:) My mother of course doesn't believe my efforts at dieting. Why? b/c in the past I have dieted and failed ( I am weak) but this time will be different! I am going to succeed so I can be healthier and a sexy mama. My diet plan is this. I want to have a low-carb lifestyle ( nothing like Atkins people) and I need low fat (bc of my gall bladder). I also have a new tae-bo DVD I want to start doing. I also want to get out with the family and start walking.

On to Therapy. Jack has therapy today I don't know what time at all. I am thinking 11:00-1:00 as the time bracket. I hope she calls soon so I know. Today is speech so I am keeping my fingers crossed that Jack doesn't have a melt down.