Therapy amd Tears

Surprise,Surprise. Another bad ST session. His ST is now talking about seeing an pediatric specialist and many other things on top that. How am I suppose to deal with that. For many who do not know I am a stay at home mom living in a smallish-town. I do not drive and their are no bus lines where I live. Due to me being home we are living on one income. How am I and Ed suppose to do all this? How is Ed suppose to take time off for this? How are we suppose to lose days of income here and there....and still survive? Most importantly How am I suppose to keep putting my son thorough this? How many times am I going to watch my son scream and cry? How many times am I going to have to rock him after a ST session and cry? I feel horrible for even saying this but Why me? Why him? I wish so badly that he was normal. I honestly do not know how much more of this I can handle.