My game Plan

Hello blogging world, which is code for hello Tamara because I am sure I am the only one who really reads this well b/c I write it.....any whoo!

I withdrew from my online college and I am going to apply to my local community college. I just think it will be easier for me I am a book learner I always have been and I flourish sitting inside a class room learning from an instructor.

My life is kind of at another down yet up point or maybe at a stall is a better way to put it. Meaning I withdrew from school and lost my job. So I am school less and jobless like a bum in a way.

I know it's not permanent and I am going to do what I have to do and I will be back on track and following that road to my dreams once again.

So wish me luck.

Fellow Planet Fitness Members

Dear fellow planet fitness members,

Do you know what a 30 minute workout is? It means Green light GO! red light STOP!!! and move to the next machine.....alright that's how it works green go red stop.

I have a life ya know and I do not have all damn day to camp out at the gym. So when I am trying to use the express 30 minute workout, I really need you to move your butt.

No it's not called the camp out for 20 minutes and then move 30 minute workout.

So the next time you work out I'd apperciate it if you ya know read that bright yellow instructions on the wall and did the workout like it is intended......yeah thanks!

Just in case your slow I am gonna say this again GREEN MEANS GO! , RED MEANS STOP!
ok? think you can handle that?

Alright

>:D

My List

Ok ok I just thought I'd make a list of things I would like to accomplish by September. I think It's good to have a check list gives you something to focus on:D

1. Get a Job
2. Apply to HVCC
3. Take my kids to do some amazing Summer activities
4. write a new poem once a week
5. learn cpr/first aid
6. lose at least 15 pounds

So that's what I have so farrr

The Final Decision

So as I expected option one occurred I was Terminated from my job, The reasoning for it "workplace violence". hmmm this terminology is new too me I suppose, I looked information up on of course google and all I could find is incidents of obviously violence and threating that occur at work.

It truly baffles me how I can be fired for this reason When 1. The incident did not occur at work, during work or was ever brought into the place of employment.
I also think honestly my job is being bias is, just for the fact that they did not listen to how the argument and exchange of vulgar words began.

The whole incident would not have occurred if my "peruser" would of just accepted that I didn't wanna be romantically involved and just ended the friendship end of story.
Instead he's have to commit the crime of deformation of my character and then harass people in my lives trying to convince them I am a horrible human being.

Then of course he plays victim and kudos he played it well if I wasn't involved in the situation maybe he would of fooled me too, but I am and I know first hand how an obsessive person can be.

I guess in the end he followed through on his threat I did lose my job, but I just think he should know he has only dented a part of my life not destroyed it :)

Today is work D-day

Today is the day I find out at work what is going to happen to my working situation.
I have thought out many scenario in my head of the outcome. Scenario one is of course I am fired....number 2 derk and I are put on opposite work shifts......number 3 a department change and four a store location change in which as far 4 go is just not going to be possible for me.

Today I go into work at 2:30 and I am figuring by 3 I'll know what is exactly going on.
Do I think what is going on in the situation is fair well of course not. In all honesty I do not feel that I should be punished for any verbal retaliation that happened outside of work, because I was verbally assaulted just for the reason that I did not want to be romantically involved with a co-worker.

Of course Life is never actually fair and that is reality.

Introduction to Tike

I usually do not like to talk about my "romantic" part of my life. I kind of feel like the minute I mention it the relationship kind of crumbles. Within 2 years I'll admit I have dated a few guys. I have brushed up against love a few times and even fell once.

I am a hopless romantic at heart eventhough my head wants to say pshhhh forget love it's not real. A couple times I came close to thinking a guy was the one and BANG!!! fell on my butt and was fooled again.

I am a little reluctant to talk about my Tike due to my past experiences, but I feel like I have too. I have to be honest I have never been more amazed in a man then I am with him. He is just so funny yet serious.....he is def. what I consider an old soul like wise before his time as dorky as that sounds. I have never been good at opening up and talking about anything I am really good at keeping things bottled up inside me.

Tike makes me want to talk and a lot.....I feel like no matter what I say he's going to have solid advice and never ever judge me for my past at all. He truely is an amazing person and I really think everyone should get to know him in general.

He deff. gives you a sense of comfort like no matter what bumps are in the road your gonna be alright and make it through. He really just makes me smile all the time and I think how is this possible....I mean how can he make me just be happy all the time even when my life is soooo kicking my ass.

Yeah Yeah true this is a new relationship and it still has that new relationship smell lol....but I can't seem to shake the feeling that this thing him and I have going on may just end up being and staying incredible and I hope it does.

Okay Okay I think I am done gushing like a 14 yearold girl:D

Smudging up my name

I have been accused of the crime of being a slut, all those who are accusing me actually do not know me at all. well........I guess those who don't know you must know you best right? screw family and my friends I have for years....yes...most deff. strangers are those one who are inside me and know me the best.

It amazes's me absloutley amazes me that someone who was once suppose to be such a good friend would all of sudden treat you like your a horrible tramp all because they liked you and wanted something more and you didn't want to.

It hurts deeply when someone spits all over your identity and has a bunch a people who only know your name judging you. Yes I will admit I have been slapped in my idenity and it stung.

I always thought you were an awesome person and that we had so much fun. Yeah you liked me and I tried to like you too......but I just couldn't you felt like family like the love you have for a brother or a sister. You just could never understand that......I tried not to hurt you, I tried to be adult and apologize for breaking your heart and all you could do was bash me with your friends, people I don't know.
It was at that exact moment I read all those comments that I knew you were not a good person.

Good people mess up like everyone else we get hurt we sometimes say mean things but we don't take it to the extremities like you did.

I hope your happy and proud and smiling, because yes you succeeded ya hurt me and hurt my kids by lighting a fire under my life. hmmm...........by Friday who knows I may not have my job which midly causes my kids to suffer but in your head thats justified because you think their mother is a slut because she didn't want to be with you romantically.

Kudos to you.....you got your revenge and I bet it tastes sweet but after that sweet sensation know that it will become a bitter taste in the back of your mouth.

As for myself I am strong and I am gonna bounce back.....right now I am wounded by those cruel words that were stated but I know I will heal and I know I am still me. I am still loving,caring,creative and a beautiful person and that's not going to change..........I am me and I am proud of that<3

Friends and Facebook Drama

As so you can tell by the title this entry is going to be a vent for sure. I guess I don't understand why people feel the need to put people down on a public social networking site. Someone that was suppose to be a close friend will call him Dirk, was an awesome friend but had all these feelings for me and I tried to see him in that way and just couldn't. So I started to see someone lets call him Tyke. When Dirk found out all of sudden I was a user and a slut and he felt the need to express this to everyone in the facebook world.

So it just got me thinking about how yeahh everyone has enemies and hates people, but why post things about them ya know. I am even guilty of that for the fact that I got angry and retaliated. I mean seriously though we are all human and have feelings and it hurts just as much when someone steps on them as when it happens to you.

I didn't mean to hurt his feeling I don't like ever hurting anyone, I have have a big heart I wear on my sleeve. I thought he was different but in reality he wasn't he proved by his behavior that he's not the good friend I thought he was. One day I am sure he'll regret the way he treated me but I am not forgiving the way he behaved all because I didn't love him romantically.